# You KNOW you're in trouble when.... (complete this sentence)



## RedPhoenix (Jun 13, 2006)

Unfortunately, due to the change in ownership of this web site and the lack of response by the owners to my requests to remove my email address from all administrative-level notifications and functionality, I have decided to remove my posts on AKFF. Thank you for the great times, the fantastic learning experiences and the many many fish. If you are desperate for the old content of this particular post, it is available below base64 encoded and bzip2 compressed.

Red.

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## Davey G (Jan 15, 2006)

eeeooowccch... that was close!. was the yabbie not hungry, or did he just find nothing appetising up there? :shock: :wink:

touch wood, so far no major stuff ups, but I did leave my paddle at home once. after unloading all my gear and getting ready to launch I thought 'hang on a minute" and had to re-load the car, yak back on roofracks, drive home and start again


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## Davey G (Jan 15, 2006)

kraley said:


> another argument for a hobie.


bwhahahahaaaa. you're soooo funny :roll: :wink:

mutter mutter bloody hobie owners....smartarses...mutter mutter :wink:


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## paffoh (Aug 24, 2006)

You KNOW you're in trouble when...
( Another true one, this time from Saturdays attempt )

...when you wait all day for the wind to die down and finish all your household chores just in time for the weather to finally break so you can get out, you drive to the spot and unload on the waters edge with the sun shining and get ready to launch, only thing left to do is put some lures on the rods so immediate trolling can commence...

'Hmmm why wont this snap undo, ill just put a Stumpjumper on and away we go...HOLY F&$%^*$*$ *!' i said as the treble from the lure went straight through my finger 3/4's of the way round with the barb firmly entrenched 1/2cm under my skin, whilst telling the missus to calm down and stop screaming i slowed the blood, sat down and after 2 minutes with some pliers i got it out.... then started blacking out 

After 1/2 hr of trying to get some colour back in my cheeks we packed up the Yak, loaded it on the car and went home without even getting my big toe wet... 

Felt like a goose...


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## DGax65 (Jun 7, 2006)

How about this....
You have just made it out through a couple of chest high waves and just as you clear the last in the set you hear a snap and one of your rudder pedals goes to the forward stop. You turn back and see that one of the cables has broken and now your rudder is jammed hard starboard. :x You glance up and see the next wave about 15 meters away and building. The problem is that you are in a right turn due to the jammed rudder and you're about to take this wave to your left shoulder :shock: After a dozen frantic strokes on the starboard side you take the hit on the port bow and go through the wave. You're now parallel to the beach with another big one forming up. You put the hammer down and start a sprint back to the beach. Unfortunately, the rudder brings the bow around too far and you're still too deep to bail out. You feel the stern start to lift and you surge forward. You start cutting across the face of the wave and for one brief, glorious instant you think you can ride it in like Eddie Aikau. But you're not riding a surfboard; you're on a friggen X-Factor that is loaded with a ton o' crap. Brace; lean.....SPLASH; swim. At least the yak stays upright. Drag it in and thank your lucky stars that there were no yakkers on the beach to see your performance. 8)


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## DogFish (Aug 31, 2005)

You KNOW you're in trouble when...

You manage a flawless surf landing in front of all the bikini babes on the beach, but when you jump out you find yourself face first in the sand because your cramped legs won't work,  and... you know there's a big mofo of a shore break dumper building up right behind you. :!:


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## Russ (Feb 24, 2006)

LOL :shock: Ya know your in trouble when,

You are new to a sport and you read a bloody thread like this   I'm gonna die 

 fishing Russ


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## troppo (Feb 1, 2006)

I was gunna say, You know you are in trouble when ya paddle for 20 minutes, stop for a snack and realise ya yoghurt muesli bars are back in the car, but after reading everyone else's posts, I don't think mine is worth mentioning so I won't.


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## Dodge (Oct 12, 2005)

The maiden trip of the swing with Gilbo/headman having first ride on my espri was the trouble.

Launching from Currumbin Creek we were quickly into the surf zone on a sand bank with me leading, over a couple of breaking waves and loving the experience, looked back to see how Gilbo was faring, and turning around was looking at a green wall which was curling; an element of tension before I was plucked from the swing like a grape off a bunch.

This was not the trouble, but what followed.

A guffawing Gilbo paddling in and through waves collecting shoes, drink bottle and towel etc while periodically checking as to my drowning status.

The problems have all been since the event as his story now lacks any semblance of reality....the lying bastard :roll:


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## hairymick (Oct 18, 2005)

Slightly different note, but certainly in trouble when I just happend to mention - Mozambique and kayak fishing competition in the same sentence. didn't help when I mentioned that a few AKFFers were going.

Have you noticed the steely glint they get in the eye and how the smile never leaves their face as they manage to say something like, "Thats allright dear. You go over to Mozambiwue and have a wonderful time." without their lips even moving.

i don't think I'm in trouble i know it.


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## Jesse_Ape (Oct 17, 2006)

you know your in trouble......

When you having an AKFF fishing comp in the ocean and there is more than 5m of vis cause jesse would win with his straight hook speargun shennagins . But according to your rules you have to catch you fish from your yak  so maybey not  as i suck at fishing with curvy hooks. Does it count if i tow my kayak behind me and spearfish?

hmmm

You know your in trouble when....
You get your spear stuck in a cave that is 8m deep and the spear is 5m back in the cave with a hungry angry wobbie cause you just shot straight through a 40cm bream... Bye bye bream hello wobbie trying to eat my flipper.

Well I don't have any kayak ones cause well i havn't had any bad experiences in one yet. Plenty more spearing one but


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## Zed (Sep 18, 2006)

...you're a couple miles off and you feel increasingly unstable. Pop a hatch and find you've been slowly taking on water and...the damn bilge pump isn't there.

...your friend rolls and then you laugh.

...you're a few miles from your take-out, and you just got stuck in the hand by a scorpionfish.

These are examples of "YKYFW..." 
I have not experienced them personally. Well, #2, but how could I not?

Z

edit:
hairymick, um, I got the same reaction from my boss about taking time off in May to go to Mozambique.
"Where?"
"Why?"
"Now, where?"
"Why again?"
"You know that's in Africa?"

I'm the one booking it; I better know where it is! Just give me the time off...Sir.
:lol:


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## PoddyMullet (Aug 29, 2005)

you know you're in trouble when.....

You heave and push a tandem sik to the top of a steep riverbank, and as ya get to the crest yourself you slip and do a belly whacker in a a cow shit. Those things are like agriculture's answser to pavlova...baked crisp on the outside but underdone and gooey in the centre :wink:


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## JB (Jul 5, 2006)

you know your in trouble when....

Your reentering the beach by a surf break and you catch the wave, which turns out to the seventh wave of the seventh set, look down to see the front of the FND to see the front trying tis best not to "pigroot". But then suddenly catch and at the same time you remember you have not secured the anchor which is sitting just behind you thats now coming past your right ear......


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## fishtales (May 7, 2006)

troppo said:


> I was gunna say, You know you are in trouble when ya paddle for 20 minutes, stop for a snack and realise ya yoghurt muesli bars are back in the car, but after reading everyone else's posts, I don't think mine is worth mentioning so I won't.


LOL,

I am sure that it will go unread Troppo.


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## fishtales (May 7, 2006)

You know you're in trouble when......

You are chuckling away at some of these posts while you are at work, and you're Boss pokes his head over you're shoulder and asks what you are doing. :shock:

Chris


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## beefs (Jan 30, 2006)

you know your in trouble when...

you're paddling along thinking you've turned into some sort of kayaking superhuman but when you turn around and try to head back where you came from you keep paddling at the same speed as you were before except your stationary and not actually going forwards. Damn big tides and currents. Happened to me twice.

you know you're in trouble when....

you're rolling into the garage at a far speed with the yak on top of the 4wd and you're brother says (when its too late to stop) "will the yak fit under here??". Thankfully it did.

you know you're in trouble when...

you're any of the lures in my tackle box and after 6 fishing trips you've only caught your owner 2 fish in 6 trips.

you know you're in trouble when...

You're 200 metres from where you left the yak due to a low tide and having to transfer all the fishing gear to the car before portering the yak across the sand. You glance into the setting sun and notice what appears to be water between the shore and your yak. When you run back to where you left the yak its now about 40 metres out in the channel and drifting downstream in an estuary where the previous week they caught a 4m tiger shark on the next beach up and in an adjoinging estuary there's crocs. Twilight swim into neck high water anyone?


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## andybear (Jan 15, 2006)

You get the feeling you may be in trouble... when you are in a very old bondwood stinkboat, with a crap unreliable outboard. You board a nice shark, and your cousin starts beating the shark to death, with an iron bar and lands a couple of good ones to the hull, and you are five k out from Adelaide.... and you just know, the waters are full of great whites.... and worse still KGW.. 

Cheers all Andybear


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## troppo (Feb 1, 2006)

PoddyMullet said:


> you know you're in trouble when.....
> 
> You heave and push a tandem sik to the top of a steep riverbank, and as ya get to the crest yourself you slip and do a belly whacker in a a cow shit. Those things are like agriculture's answser to pavlova...baked crisp on the outside but underdone and gooey in the centre :wink:


It was a tandem . . . which means there were observers?   That could mean lots of trouble.


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## RedPhoenix (Jun 13, 2006)

Unfortunately, due to the change in ownership of this web site and the lack of response by the owners to my requests to remove my email address from all administrative-level notifications and functionality, I have decided to remove my posts on AKFF. Thank you for the great times, the fantastic learning experiences and the many many fish. If you are desperate for the old content of this particular post, it is available below base64 encoded and bzip2 compressed.

Red.

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## Naki Man (Aug 30, 2006)

Your pants know they're in trouble when you are sitting out in 10ft swell not realizing you're sitting in front of a reef and you turn to see the seventh wave coming at you 9 to 10ft high with an almost vertical face and capping on top. As the yak climbs up the face of the wave you feel a jerk and you realize you just ran out of anchor rope and the yak goes clean through the top 2 to 3ft of the wave. Luckily the anchor let go and the pants were easy to wash


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## Zed (Sep 18, 2006)

Sidebar:
What's a yabbie?
Crabby Yabbie?
Some sort of crab with an attitude?

Z


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## hairymick (Oct 18, 2005)

Heya Zed

A yabby is a freshwater cray fish, similar in appearance to your lobster.


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## Zed (Sep 18, 2006)

Alright, thanks.

Agreed, you know you're in trouble if a crawdad is crawling up your pant leg.

Z


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## RedPhoenix (Jun 13, 2006)

Unfortunately, due to the change in ownership of this web site and the lack of response by the owners to my requests to remove my email address from all administrative-level notifications and functionality, I have decided to remove my posts on AKFF. Thank you for the great times, the fantastic learning experiences and the many many fish. If you are desperate for the old content of this particular post, it is available below base64 encoded and bzip2 compressed.

Red.

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## Zed (Sep 18, 2006)

Thanks Red.
Looks like dinner...


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## Russ (Feb 24, 2006)

:lol: :lol: Keep it up some classic stuff here.  Ya know your in trouble when you follow a mates directions to a landbased spot, you park 50 metres from the beach and walk into the national pk to get to the spot around the headland. After walking for 2 hrs you realize ya can't hear the ocean anymore :shock:

 fishing Russ


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## Billybob (Aug 29, 2005)

A mate of mine was out in the bay a few months ago trolling a shallow diver in the hope of hooking up with a Bluefin Tuna when his lure was taken by a large gannet.
These birds have been plaguing us this year, not sure why, and once hooked up can be a real handful beside the yak when you try to release them
Having watched one of the other boys get attacked (and quite savagely so) the previous day, my buddy decided he'd carefully tow the bird 30 metres behind the yak and run up on the nearest beach (about 750 metres away) where he could safely release it.
Halfway there, however, he heard a commotion behind and looked back just in time to see a huge disruption in the water and just a few feathers where the gannet should have been.
Realising he'd been effectively towing a very large feathered lure behind him he hightailed it for home, not wanting to know what the hell it was that swallowed the big seabird in one gulp.


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## YakAtak (Mar 13, 2006)

:shock: oops :lol:


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## beefs (Jan 30, 2006)

Billybob said:


> A mate of mine was out in the bay a few months ago trolling a shallow diver in the hope of hooking up with a Bluefin Tuna when his lure was taken by a large gannet.
> These birds have been plaguing us this year, not sure why, and once hooked up can be a real handful beside the yak when you try to release them
> Having watched one of the other boys get attacked (and quite savagely so) the previous day, my buddy decided he'd carefully tow the bird 30 metres behind the yak and run up on the nearest beach (about 750 metres away) where he could safely release it.
> Halfway there, however, he heard a commotion behind and looked back just in time to see a huge disruption in the water and just a few feathers where the gannet should have been.
> Realising he'd been effectively towing a very large feathered lure behind him he hightailed it for home, not wanting to know what the hell it was that swallowed the big seabird in one gulp.


now thats comedy... :lol:


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## Zed (Sep 18, 2006)

I guess the saying goes, "Curiosity killed the cat [Zed]", but I think that's really cool, BillyBob.

Anybody see the show on tigers of Hawaii? They showed the territory(iality?) of the Island's tigers. At the fledging time of the albatross, on one of the far NW islands, the tigers would show up and pick off the babies that couldn't quite get the lift and ended up in the water. They show up precisely at fledging time, every year. Odd seeing 12-18' tigers eating young birds.

Bingo, there's a solution to the gannet problem! Ha.

Z


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## Naki Man (Aug 30, 2006)

You know you're in trouble when the Miss's finds out that when you were trying for that perfect cast, your rod went further than your bait and slowly sank to the bottom.


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## andybear (Jan 15, 2006)

I firmly believe the tale about that gannet. Thats what is so good about this sport... you just never never can imagine, whats on next. Ive seen a duck taken by an english pike (esox lucius... or something like that) I guess with gannet, once you get the feathers out of the way, there is not a lot of meat. Just beak and feet really...Certainly fair game for anything. Pretty high on the food chain one day, and just a broken link the next. :lol:

Cheers all Andybear :lol:


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## sunshiner (Feb 22, 2006)

You know you're in trouble when, struggling to get your yak onto your home-made roof bars in the Noosa Heads Surf Club crowded carpark on a busy Sunday morning, your yak responds to your final push by continuing to slide, over the front, out of reach, down from the rack, across the bonnet and into the car parked in front. Ouch. But these Espris are tough.


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## troppo (Feb 1, 2006)

You really really know you are in trouble when that stupid idiotic wannabe past time called yak fishing starts to become, well, you know, . . . . kinda something you'd like to try.


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## Daveyak (Oct 6, 2005)

Billybob said:


> Realising he'd been effectively towing a very large feathered lure behind him he hightailed it for home, not wanting to know what the hell it was that swallowed the big seabird in one gulp.


Hey Scott, are you picking up on this? It looks like towing a larged feathered 'popper' might be the very thing you need when fishing for big biteys down your way  .


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## Davey G (Jan 15, 2006)

sunshiner said:


> You know you're in trouble when, struggling to get your yak onto your home-made roof bars in the Noosa Heads Surf Club crowded carpark on a busy Sunday morning, your yak responds to your final push by continuing to slide, over the front, out of reach, down from the rack, across the bonnet and into the car parked in front. Ouch. But these Espris are tough.


Oh, I've come SOOO close to doing that as well!

Mental Note, Try to avoid sloping car parking spots!


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## Zed (Sep 18, 2006)

OK testimonial:
I just did this to my yak.

I was coming home and had my yak in the bed of the truck. I got to my carport and wanted to back in. There was an auto facing me and we had that moment of: you go, no you go.
I knew I had to back in delicately, and he'd have to wait, but he wanted me to go first, so I backed in with too much haste and pegged the bow against the back, stucco wall of the carport.
What was really amazing was the tensile strength of my yak. The stern of my yak was forced against the back of the truck bed which buckled into the back cab wall. All that damage to the truck bed/cab by a freakin piece of old milk jug. Amazing.

Z


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## RedPhoenix (Jun 13, 2006)

Unfortunately, due to the change in ownership of this web site and the lack of response by the owners to my requests to remove my email address from all administrative-level notifications and functionality, I have decided to remove my posts on AKFF. Thank you for the great times, the fantastic learning experiences and the many many fish. If you are desperate for the old content of this particular post, it is available below base64 encoded and bzip2 compressed.

Red.

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QlpoOTFBWSZTWfj/LPAAADZfgAASUOeIAhIAnAo/7/+gMAEjVkNTExTCTEJtNMkxGaE0Gqn+ianpqmho009RoaAA0DU9FNoRpNMmjRo0ABkICW9BrnHMhnaPLdm29D+Q52I49F4QnpBDoaE4eLUW3v+fWtoIp6ilZeGoMFKUua8ZkezPcsXruRVQy76LOGQLIJomKVSZ4Y8feLh18pL18HZsrXAsQx9oVeBnGGi2VlEQiCPBD9ThaRVQs8KJgtii+6dKYOZOk9twiSgF2wva7QgTdboD2TYuhob7zvMXT4Xyi2xrBhRJViUG8brYCGDNspvEHwsk5QTWyiJQKXI6Ls7pOsE0kosBgaZ4twmLSHOoHp7lbcCzwspIbEoA1+t58XzlcrXZlo6ClX1IrPNoUygLUIgAOyUKEVtjeswxfoEF50MhUQkZSxXNv4u5IpwoSHx/lngA


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## PoddyMullet (Aug 29, 2005)

You know you're in trouble when....

Ya get a fish'n'lure combo caught up in your paddle leash  

You unleash ya paddle to untangle the mess and by automatic pilot ya throw ya paddle in the drink to work on the mess.  

It dawns on ya too late ya shouldn't have done that  

The fella who retrieves ya paddle for ya to stop going for a swim just happens to be a dealer of Hobie kayaks. :shock: :shock:

Geez those Hobie blokes have a beaming smile wink:


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## Davey G (Jan 15, 2006)

PoddyMullet said:


> You know you're in trouble when....
> 
> Ya get a fish'n'lure combo caught up in your paddle leash
> 
> ...


 :lol: :lol: :lol:

its a Hobie conspiracy I tells ya!


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## JB (Jul 5, 2006)

DaveyG, lets start a rumour that the mechanism of the hobie sounds similar to that of a sea lion clicking while mating... and we all know who eats sea lions :shock: 
:shock: :wink: :wink:


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