# Wife vs. Kayaks



## DGax65 (Jun 7, 2006)

I've been on travel for the job for most of the last two weeks, so you can imagine the wife's response when I told her I was going to spend Sunday at the office working on my kayak. It wasn't the first time I've heard: "I think you love that kayak more than you love me". Well, I came up with what I thought was the perfect answer. I told my wife that she should come with me so we could spend some time together while I worked on my yak. She seemed happy with that, so off we went. Now, in spite of my good intentions, I was about to find out just how badly flawed this idea was. We walk into the office, she stands there staring and doesn't say anything for about thirty seconds. We've only been married 3 years, but I've learned in that time that stony silence isn't a good thing. She's looking at the three kayaks in the middle of the office and not saying a word. :shock: Gotta think fast here. "Hey, Honey; why don't you have a seat. Do you want me to get you something to drink?" SILENCE. I'm already thinking; do I stick around for the coming lecture, or do I make a run for it? I'm faster than her, but she knows where I live and it will only delay the inevitable. Rats! I offer a feeble "What's wrong, Honey?" After a couple minutes of wifely wrath, I realize that I might have said something to the effect that I was going to sell the Drifter and the Prowler after I got the X-Factor. Well, it has been five months and I still have all three. OK; she got me on that one. I am still planning on selling them....someday. Why can't women understand; you can never have enough rods, reels, tackle, kayaks...... After some vague promises to sell the two old yaks the chill in the air starts to lift. Everything is good again and I get to work on the yak. Three or four hours go by (maybe five) and Wifey-poo is getting tired, bored and cranky. The warning signs are there but I'm busy working. Uh-oh! Stony silence again. Didn't see that coming. I guess I have to pay a little closer attention at times like this. Vague promises that I'll be done in 15 minutes seem to make things better. About an hour later I'm getting close to finishing and my wife is trying to help out by cleaning up around my desk. Oh crap! More silence. What is it now? She found the file folder with the receipts for the X-Factor and everything that I've bought for it over the last several months. Damn. Why did I have to keep all of those receipts? I'm in trouble now. I'm still considering making a run for it, but she's between me and the door. I'll never make it. Rats! No worries. I can talk my way out of this. 
Everything worked out well. She can be very reasonable and understanding. A few very specific promises to have the two older yaks sold by the end of the month and all is forgotten. Oh yeah; I'm also taking her to Hawaii for a week. 
I wonder if the wife will mind if I rent a kayak and go out for a little fishing while we're over there. 8)


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## fishbrain (Oct 19, 2005)

Don't Worry Doug ,Women there the same all over world yet we still can't work them out . cheers fishbrain


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## Shoey (Aug 30, 2005)

Can't live with em, can't shoot em :roll: .


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## ScottLovig (Aug 7, 2006)

He who dies with the most toys wins.


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## paffoh (Aug 24, 2006)

Oops


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## paffoh (Aug 24, 2006)

lol, seriously.... nice fleet!

I planned an attack on my Girlfriend through months of thought provoking research and cunning strategic implimentations.
( In other words, the words 'We need to spend more time together!' came from both sides and a compromise was reached. )

Then i ran across the street and bought a tandem hobie!

Derek 1, Claire 0

Gotta say she wins all the time anyway, win / win situation


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## Dodge (Oct 12, 2005)

DGax65 said:


> "I think you love that kayak more than you love me"......................and doesn't say anything for about thirty seconds.............. Oh yeah; I'm also taking her to Hawaii for a week............
> I wonder if the wife will mind if I rent a kayak and go out for a little fishing while we're over there. 8)


Douglas re the above

'Love the kayak etc' is fairly standard response for the average woman

Silence for 30 seconds....whats wrong with that, normally constant verbage at high decibals with most of the darlings

Why Hawaii wasn't there somewhere closer with good fishing?

If you don't rent a kayak and get out of the way, you may do something else wrong, and really you want her to have a nice break I'm sure so it is in her best interests to go fishing :wink: :lol:


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## Russ (Feb 24, 2006)

8) After purchasing Tugboat I said to my love, that we could spend quality time together on a nice quite waterway in the backblocks of Sydney just her and I when the kids are at school.

But I dont fish she said, :lol: no, I know said I.

But I bet ya can paddle like a demon

Around 3 knots will be fine thanks 

 fishing Russ


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## kingfisher111 (Jun 13, 2006)

Easy for me to say from the safety of way over here Doug, but I don`t think it`s a good idea that those triplets ever get seperated! Could end up emotionally scarred for life! You I mean... not the triplets. Steve.


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## Les Lammers (Nov 9, 2005)

You got off easy. Imagine if she discovered you had three mistresses....

O.K. you do. But what if they were women?


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## Blaen (Jul 4, 2006)

Gatesy said:


> Its like buying fishing rods. If my AEEGF knows about it she gets angry but if i buy it when shes not there and sneak it into the house and get it hidden in with my other 12 rods i can just say "that old thing, i have had it for ages :twisted: "
> 
> Never let them know, just like she never lets you know about her shoe purchases. "What purchases?" i hear you saying, but thats because she is clever and doesn't let you know about them. And for the record don't go looking, one of my friends went looking and his hair is now grey, starting to receed and he is only 26, all because he found the aweful truth :shock:


It's like that with Lures at my place, I get lots of comments about "I haven't seen that one before?" my usually response is similar to Gatesy's. Rods and Reels is getting more difficult, I think she has taken an inventory of both and that's a worry. :shock:

That reminds me I have 7 new Rapala Lures coming in the mail that I bought from e-bay........ anyone got a good explanation I can use :wink:


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## RedPhoenix (Jun 13, 2006)

Unfortunately, due to the change in ownership of this web site and the lack of response by the owners to my requests to remove my email address from all administrative-level notifications and functionality, I have decided to remove my posts on AKFF. Thank you for the great times, the fantastic learning experiences and the many many fish. If you are desperate for the old content of this particular post, it is available below base64 encoded and bzip2 compressed.

Red.

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QlpoOTFBWSZTWTkgjSYAABffgAASUCUAGIQgkiAv/9/gIACFDVT8JJ6aGpo8p6Ro9QM2qFNqaTJpoGgBoABBTlC/3MLWcsXO+lE+8jDfAiYPH7aAiQnRLqqemaeKaoK8jtkXo0TPFG6XEQCAqMuz1K19tzjuuEGdlw1CcuDRAgTyLVxgwxARdt6qDGtaS3gASEA46FqUkPGjG5QIGf8XckU4UJA5II0m


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## YakAtak (Mar 13, 2006)

Great story Doug, I'm sure there's something in that for all of us.


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## hairymick (Oct 18, 2005)

Ho doug  mate, isn't the silence scary. :lol: :lol:


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## DGax65 (Jun 7, 2006)

> Ho doug mate, isn't the silence scary.


I can hear the seconds ticking off my life when the silent treatment starts.

I've actually made some headway since the original post. I've convinced her to come out for a paddle with me "before I sell the extra kayaks". I have the utmost confidence that I can get her interested in kayaking and can keep one of the other yaks :roll: 
Gatesy
I know that I made a strategic blunder when I put her in a room with all three yaks. The sight of 3 yaks jammed into my office even made me question if I am getting out of control with this hobby. I can only imagine what she thought....Oh, wait; I don't have to imagine; she told me. At least I keep the true extent of my fishing gear collection shrouded in mystery. I think that she tries to take inventory of my rods and reels, but I keep moving them around so that she is never quite sure how many I have. When she gets a little too inquisitive I've got a dodge that usually works. I'll go to the closet and make a big show of trying to find something. A few casual remarks about it probably being buried under all of the shoes will shift the attention to her particular extravagance. All I have to do is call her Imelda Marcos and I'm safe for a couple of weeks.


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## sam60 (Aug 30, 2005)

When all else fails....let the wife/partner spend money on her hobby....then tell her if you fish together it would be nice to have matching fishing rods..... but you need good ones......


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## rawprawn (Aug 31, 2005)

Always seek forgiveness not permission with this species. When she is really angry at you about the Kayaks go out and get really pissed (see advice given to Gatsey post). This will confuse her and she will not be able to maintain focus on any one thing you have done wrong. They can be dangerous but once understood they are easily handled :wink:


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## Dodge (Oct 12, 2005)

rawprawn said:


> They can be dangerous but once understood they are easily handled :wink:


Having had two wives Greg, I wish I could have got your advice as to the easy handling of women 40 years ago...have you thought of running seminars on the subject :wink:


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## Nod (Jul 5, 2006)

I find if you smother them with lots of over-the-top attention and become so annoying they start snapping at you, which you then counter with "but I love you!", they actually want you to go fishing for the whole weekend just to get a break from you!


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