# Ormiston, QLD, 29 Apr 14 - A tale of highs and woes....



## squidlips (Nov 24, 2008)

The day was reasonably cloudy with the odd drizzle of rain as I loaded up the kids to drop to school. I had the yak on the roof ready to go, but it had remained there for close to 3 weeks without being used once. After the standard last minute "Dad, where is my...." and "Is your homework in your bag"? etc, followed by the accompanying wails, moans and squeals, I finally did a dump and run and was on my way. There is a little detour I often take on the way back home which allows me an unobstructed view out over The bay towards Cleveland Point and beyond to the bay islands. This is often the medicine I need to relieve my children induced anxiety on such days. I took the scenic route and to my surprise the bay was glassy and full of life. I parked the car and watched the scenery for about 20 mins before deciding that it was time to pull that yak down and get some paddle time in.

First step - the compulsory leave pass. To my delight my wife had a finger nail emergency (whatever that means) which required urgent attention. Obviously that was going to be expensive but who was I to care - I was off the hook! My wife stressed the importance of picking the kids up again after school. "No worries", I yelled as I threw in a couple of SPs and a fluorescent pink Tilsan HB. "I'll only be an hour...." Now, let me stress here - a man should never, EVER say he will only be an hour when going fishing! What was I thinking? Clearly, I wasn't! A man's fishing hour is just like the last cast. It is infinite. A woman's hour (when referring to a man) is actually 30 mins. If referring to herself - it is infinite. Hmmmm, you would think I'd learnt this already.....

So, I jump in the car having left everything unnecessary out of the packing list. No sounder, GPS, tackle boxes, eskies or lip grips. I'm going ultralight! Shoes? Nah, won't need them either. After all, I'm only going for an hour. So off I drive back to Ormiston and to a site that I have never launched from before. It looks pleasant enough, no water taps nearby but that's no big deal and there is the remains of an ancient ramp that past locals have obviously launched tinnies from. Off comes the yak and soon I am gliding past the mangroves trolling the Tilsan and flicking an Atomic Prong SP targeting flathead. After no joy along the mangroves, I head towards the Raby Bay Channel to drift past familiar sandbanks. I make my way out and commence the drift, once again flicking the SP ahead. A couple of 'sucks' on the Prong but as I glide past Hilliards Creek, I still haven't landed a fish. Hmmm, a change of tact may be required! I switch out the Prong for a 6 inch fluorescent orange Bass Assassin Jerk Shad and paddle back towards the channel markers, trolling the Tilsan. Several minutes pass before a feel a 'whack' on the bait caster and it loads up. After a reasonable fight I see the familiar shape of a snapper coming yak side but can also see that the Tilsan rear hook is only just pinning it through mere millimetres of the lip. It is no surprise when the hook pulls from its mouth and the 55 - 60 cm Snapper heads off into the deep. After wiping away salty tears, I continue the troll and to cut a long story short, catch and release another 5 smaller fish.

I look at my watch - it has now been 90 mins. What can I do but commence another drift? Surely my wife would expect nothing less from the hunter gatherer!? So with my family's nutritional needs at the forefront of my mind, I start the drift. Suddenly, a funny thing happens. The old unpredictable Moreton Bay weather starts to turn. Within minutes the wind is blowing 20 - 30 knots, the swell is up and whitecaps are washing across the bow. So, finally I concede that it must be be time for me to call it a day and head back in. Tilsan wound in, I start the retrieve on the SP. 'Smack!', no hook-up, wind a little, 'smack, smack!'. Still no hook-up despite the stinger. Grrrrr......... I bounce the SP back up and it is followed to the surface by an aggressive bream within an arms reach of the yak. Letting the shad flutter back down, it is finally smashed by the bream and I set the hook. After a brief struggle, a 32 cm bream hits the deck. Now, what was a little bream like that wanting with a 6 inch plastic? "Must be a freak catch", I think, as I make 'one last cast'. Well, next thing, I'm on again! An even smaller battle and a 27 cm model is on the deck. What the heck is with these suicidal bream????? Speaking of suicidal, I now realise that I have drifted well past Hilliards Creek and towards Wello Point. I check the watch - it is 1:30pm. School pickup is at 3.

Lines in and stowed, I start the paddle back against the current and the howling wind. I'm digging in deep when I hear the mobile ringing from inside my vest pocket. I know what that ring means - it means that my testicles are now in danger. The mobile rings again - I dig in deeper. The phone rings again - if I answer I'm definitely going to be drifting back to where I came from so it isn't an option. Nor is losing my testicles! I push the limits to get back to the Raby Bay Channel markers so I can hook 90 degrees right and use the wind to push me right back to my launch site. Clever eh!? Hmmmm, clever until I realise that isn't going to help. Last time I fished this area (admittedly a couple of years ago) I know that I cruised along channels at a full low tide around the launch site. Hey - it was shallow but it was do-able. So today it is either an ultra low tide, or the sand banks have moved or my wife has arranged for an obstacle course to be built in the 'hour' I've been away. I check my watch. It is 2:00pm

I'm seriously going to die if I don't pick up those kids. The closest I can paddle to the launch point leaves me about 800m away. Between me and the car is 800m of oysters, rocks, sand, mud and endless amounts of pain. Oh and remember those shoes that I left at home??? Well, I decide that my best course of action is to run across the surface of said mud like a Jesus Lizard, dragging my yak behind me. Super idea! First step and I sink into the mud knee deep..... So much for the Lizard glide..... Fortunately, it is at this depressing time that I remember the 50+ skin protection leggings I have on. I quickly fashion a pair of booties that resemble a dead possum that has been turned inside out by a 40 tonne semi trailer. It is with this amazing footwear that I start my memorable trek to the car, sinking at every step and scratching the crap out of the hull on my Barracuda. After what seems like years and several upgrades to the possum gut boots, I finally drag my sorry ass to the car and toss the yak on top, covered in thick, stinking mud. I now turn to myself - I can barely tolerate the stench and I look like a bunyip. The mud has caked me all the way to my waist and is several centimetres thick in places. I check my watch - 2:40pm.

With minus 5 minutes to spare I dive into the car and virtually teleport to my eldest at high school. She has already started walking when I pull up. After throwing a quick u-turn she turns to me and says, "What is that smell?" I quickly explain but being a girl, she just doesn't understand. "Can I walk home", she says, with her fingers holding her nose. " You stink!" Unbelievable! What kind of gratitude is that?

Next stop and the remaining kids pile in. "Gross! What's that smell?", they chime. Grrrrrrr. "Hey girls, just cut me some slack okay", I say. "We will be home soon". It is then that my youngest pipes up, "But Dad, you promised you would take us to the library today. We have all our books here". After some quick thinking and summoning all my Dr Phil, Rikki Lake and Jerry Springer knowledge, I reply, "Sure, we can do that. After-all, I DID promise". The overwhelming consensus is soon that we should drop off the books but leave the library visit for the following day. Thank God for reverse psychology! We stop outside the library and the girls race in the books to the return chute. Phew - last obstacle - WIFE!!!!! I check my watch - 3:30pm.

We depart the library and pull up the Main Street, mere minutes from home and the inevitable surgery! As we get half way up the street a commotion to the left side of the road draws my eye and I see a man and woman wrestling in the street over what appears to be a handbag. Seriously! What is with today?! Arghhhhhh!!!!! I throw the car into a dodgy park and race down to assist. Long story short - I depart after standing in the main street talking to victims/suspects and police for 45 mins smelling like poo, and looking like I've just crawled out of a sewer. The comments from the police help greatly because apparently I look like I've been playing in mud! Wow, really?!

Finally, I return to the car and find that one of my daughters has been on the phone to my wife the whole time relating the 'breaking news - as it happens'. This has had the wonderful effect of calming my wife somewhat and as it turns out, it may have been a blessing in disguise!

So, I get home - we all know the story, I didn't fully escape the interrogation and torture, BUT, happily, I still have 2 testicles and a smile and a better knowledge of my local mudflats!

Cheers!


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## Zorba (Jan 22, 2013)

Great report, had me in stitches


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## anselmo (Aug 26, 2008)

Classic


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## moojuice (Jun 14, 2012)

rarely has better prose graced these pages


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## billpatt (Apr 12, 2010)

I am guessing you lauched at the park in Ormiston that the last canal goes past , looks great at high tide doesn't it :lol: .


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## Dodge (Oct 12, 2005)

A good laugh, and nice to read all the tackle remains in good nick mate.


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## Stealthfisha (Jul 21, 2009)

heheheheheh brilliant.....


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## kayakone (Dec 7, 2010)

Absolute crack-up. :lol: My sides were hurting.

You should have gone back to the police station and thanked the bag snatcher for saving your nuts.


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## Trumpet1 (Apr 26, 2013)

deleted


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## systemtester (May 11, 2013)

Jesus Lizard! I'm going to use that one. Top read!


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## nickdec (Aug 13, 2010)

Great story, all worked out well .... in the end.

Best return by dragging the Yak up the rocks at the corner to the Canal, then walk around, if I am thinking where you launched from. Had to do it a few times after miscalculating the tide - dragging through the mud is a killer! There is also a couple of water taps on the Raby Esplanade park now.

I use this for the prediction - use the 10 or 15 minute intervals and allow for the 15 mins or so tidal delay from the Brisbane bar - seems pretty reliable and consistent, but not perfect:
http://tbone.biol.sc.edu/tide/tideshow. ... +Australia

1.45 metres is pretty skinny water across those mud flats, I use that as the minimum tidal depth.

Cheers


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## Zed (Sep 18, 2006)

Best 32cm snap evah!


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## paulsod (Dec 28, 2008)

That was a top read mate, just got stronger and funnier as it went along.
Big pat on the back for stopping to help the woman out as well.
Cheers
Paul


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## Deefa (Dec 22, 2012)

Awesome read, thanks.
Lucky the phone call smoothed the waters before finally arriving home. Car smelling better yet?


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## Foxxy (May 12, 2008)

Thanks mate, just eased the pain of the train ride greatly. Awesome report, keep 'em up


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## Ke00 (Mar 17, 2014)

Squid lip ... I could see 'myself' doing exactly the same things from start to finish. Couldn't stop laughing. Thank you soooo much for the laughs.
I'm new to AKFF and new to yak fishing. It's a great site because of members and stories just like these.
Keep up the good work and watch those testicles.


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## squidlips (Nov 24, 2008)

billpatt said:


> I am guessing you lauched at the park in Ormiston that the last canal goes past , looks great at high tide doesn't it :lol: .


Launched from the little park off Sleath Street actually which is across the other side. But yes - it does look great at high tide! :lol:


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## Beekeeper (Aug 20, 2011)

A great report, Squidlips... funny as!

Could have been worse if you actually had boots and lost them in the mud!

Jimbo


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## scater (Nov 24, 2007)

Great story mate, just goes to show you don't need huge fish for a cracking trip report!


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## squidlips (Nov 24, 2008)

scater said:


> Great story mate, just goes to show you don't need huge fish for a cracking trip report!


Just as well or I'd be up s#*t creek! :lol:


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## scater (Nov 24, 2007)

squidlips said:


> scater said:
> 
> 
> > Great story mate, just goes to show you don't need huge fish for a cracking trip report!
> ...


Without shoes no doubt.


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## gibsoni (Jun 22, 2009)

Hi Mate,

Thats a cracker of a story, thanks for sharing and taking the time to put in the detail.

I am doubly appreciative of the detail in this report, actually triple.

Firstly, any detail helps put you in the place, secondly I know this area very well and Ormiston water is my local haunt, THIRDLY, I saw you pull up at front of the school in the loading zone waiting for your kids. I was indeed very intrigued as to how on earth anyone would get that much mud all over a kayak AND how/why it would end up on the roof of your car in such a state.

Now I know!

Good laugh and great story thanks.

If you are a the school again I'll come and say G;day. Im normally out the front (on foot) during pickup time, short beard, 3 yo boy in tow and 6 year old prep daughter being picked up.

Keep the local stories coming and hope you land that nice snapper next time.

Iain.


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## squidlips (Nov 24, 2008)

gibsoni said:


> Hi Mate,
> 
> Thats a cracker of a story, thanks for sharing and taking the time to put in the detail.
> 
> ...


Hmmmmm - that's embarrassing! Haha! Thanks Iain - I'll keep an eye out for you.

Cheers,

Marty


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## kayakone (Dec 7, 2010)

Funniest story for a loooong time. :lol:


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## Geoffw (Jan 23, 2011)

How many of us have been there...one more cast! My wife says don't ever play the pokies (one arm bandits) or we will be totally stuffed.


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