# TALE OF WOE awards



## Davey G

After reading Squizzy's 'Sunnyside Up' post I have awarded him the AKFF Inaugural Tale Of Woe (TOW) award... Well done Squizz... :lol: Squizz will receive some fantasic items from our gift shop (cue attractive gift shop girl and corny gift shop music) :shock: :shock: Actually you'll probably receive a couple of old rusty lures and a half bag of gulp worms (slightly past their use by date)

So, if you have a T.O.W please enter it in this thread. Winners will be picked at random and will be subject to strict criteria (ie your TOW needs to be nearly life threatening, it needs to make us laugh hysterically and it needs to make us feel sorry for you all at the same time).

Winners (or is that losers?) will receive some sort of 'token' award. It is suggested that you include this in your signature as the TOW awards are highly competitive and much sought after...

So, let the TOWs begin...

:lol: :lol:


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## craig450

:lol: what a great idea, we should get a few good laughs from this thread!!! :lol:


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## L3GACY

Classic idea mate, LOVE IT.


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## Astro

all of my last fishing sessions have been top class so i am due for a doozy of a TOW entry....


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## JT

DaveyG....does it have to relate to fishing and kayaking?

I have the most terrible and absolutey true tale of woe that involves nakedness, an international hotel in Kuala Lumper, a Muslim Momen's conference, an AKFF member that was locked out of his room completely naked chased by some insane chinese amateur wrestlers with wet towels and a GM of a hotel that had accused a certain AKFF member of "outraging the modesting of a staff member".

Possibly not what you are after given the lack of the yak reference?

JT


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## bazzoo

Whoaaa JT , dont hold back mate , let er rip , that sounds intriguing , we wanna hear more 
:lol: :lol: :lol:


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## Guest

Squidder and Red could tell you a beauty about me and our Congo trip, it would mention lots of chunder, sand monsters, and relaunching naked in my dry gear full of sand.

But they wont because I asked them not too, just too embarrassing 

:mrgreen:


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## Davey G

JT (or "Bruiser" as we now call him) is our 2nd winner in the Tale of Woe awards... You poor bastard.

John, a large tube of ointment is on its way to you in the post...


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## mattayogi

hmmn


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## Davey G

Wopfish has now taken out the TOW Award and is the current TOW holder

See viewtopic.php?f=17&t=13825&st=0&sk=t&sd=a for details.

Woppy - you have it until someone else kicks you off your throne..


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## JT

Congratulations Mr Woppie.

DaveyG...where's that tube of ointment that you promised me when I won the award. It never arrived :?

JT


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## wopfish

Thank you thank you very very much .............

I'm most honored to have made a complete Dick :lol: out of my self at Clovelly and have been severley mashed by the rock monster x 2 !!! Also my inability to realise that my Swing (Red Splinter) was full of water !!!!

I'd like to thank Berkely for my lip grippers at the bottom of the ocean, And a big thanks to Bass Assasin, Power Bait, Mojo (OMG), Sluggos, that have been released into the great Pacific Ocean free to roam at last..

Also Bosch - whos power drill I bastardised for my sounder and also to electrolosis for the brown corosion on the day...

Finally I would like to thank Mr Seriola :? for making me do it in the first place..

Thank you and good NIght

Mr Woppie


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## sbd

Here's hoping that Red Sphincter makes a full recovery.


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## wopfish

sbd said:


> Here's hoping that Red Sphincter makes a full recovery.


HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH sphincters in good order - but my batteries leaking a bit .....


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## keza

wopfish said:


> sbd said:
> 
> 
> 
> Here's hoping that Red Sphincter makes a full recovery.
> 
> 
> 
> HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH sphincters in good order - but my batteries leaking a bit .....
Click to expand...

if the battery is leaking you may need to tighten the Red Sphincter a little :lol:


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## wopfish

Exactly !!!!!


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## jkells

What about trying to lift a kayak onto my fiance's car and dropping it, ripping off the drivers side mirror


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## keza

jkells said:


> What about trying to lift a kayak onto my fiance's car and dropping it, ripping off the drivers side mirror


it would have to end with ex-fiance's car to qualify


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## Davey G

The TOW awards have been resurrected!

The new winner is Mr DAFTWULLIE (the paddler formerly known as tryhard - tpfkat) who has manage to TEAR HIS BICEP OFF THE BONE while trying to lift his new shiny fibreglass kayak onto his roofracks. Thread HERE viewtopic.php?f=18&t=20419&st=0&sk=t&sd=a

Congratulations.....you idiot. You'll hold the TOW until a more worthy (stupid) AKFFer takes your crown... :lol: 8)


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## onemorecast

Davey G said:


> TEAR HIS BICEP OFF THE BONE


 :shock: :shock: That made me wince!

Tryhard losing a bicep, JT droppin a nut...gee this Kayak fishing really takes it toll on our manly parts doesn't it :?


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## grinner

was pushing bkie out of garage to go to work









when tripped over newly brought mirage drive









and dropped bike on wifes car









wife very understanding now requires new car cheers pete


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## onemorecast

grinner said:


> when tripped over newly brought mirage drive


YOU certainly wouldn't have left the Mirage Drive there. You sure your Mrs didn't plant it hoping you'd drop the bike onto her car? Or is only mine that treacherous and cunning?


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## grinner

yeah shes cunning gunna buy her a commodore ute with big racks so i can get two kayaks on it.


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## nemollie

Ok heres my story had been practising in the surf and then the next day me and my uncle go for our first fish in our kayaks over the road with the yaks to the surf all loaded up gear and hand lines (no rods as first time) paddled out over the waves and opened up my middle hatch to get something out closed the hatch lid (but not properly) started paddling over to point cartright and started fishing something didnt feel right it felt to unstable so i pulled in my line and told my uncle that it felt like i was going to flip he said he was coming next second swell comes through and flips me over. flip back over and full of water (hatch floating in the water we flag down a boat (ONE THE SIDE IT SAYS BARCRUSHER) two blokes try pulling the kayak up onto the side to flip the kayak out and empty it nearly making the boat fill with water trying to get it up after about a ten minute struggle they get it up my uncle opens the bung up and out it falls sinks to the bottom of the ocean after 5 minutes of letting the kayak empty i was trying to hop back in without getting water in thorugh the bun hole i did it my uncle looked around and nothing to use as a bung so we paddling back and i see a fin closer it to shore i ooint it out we keep paddling next minute the fin is coming towards us and then isee its a dolphin starts playing around under our yaks we get to our point and paddle into the shore where my mum is stading she told us she saw the whole incident as she was on the top of point cartright (oh well) we unload the yaks with no fish  - andrew

DO I WIN DO I WIN ;-)  :lol: :twisted:


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## Davey G

nemollie said:


> DO I WIN DO I WIN ;-)  :lol: :twisted:


First (and only) rule of the TOW awards is that you can't nominate yourself. Its up to us (YOUR MATES :twisted: :twisted: ) to dob you in and take the piss out of you..... How Aussie is that? 8)


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## cruiser

is this post still open i have a little tale to write about last weekends fishing trip if anybody is interested cheers the soggy cruiser


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## zipper

I AM!


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## Astro

cruiser said:


> is this post still open i have a little tale to write about last weekends fishing trip if anybody is interested cheers the soggy cruiser


go for it...


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## keza

in the words of Prince Charles " i'm all ears "


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## cruiser

okay ill try and keep it short but this is what happened last sunday ,the day before i was trolling down the glenelg river with not a care in the world untill i snagged my sx 40 on a tree which had fallen into the river ,after a few attempts i eventually snapped the line and that was the end of that, goodbye fav lure and paddled off back to camp.the next morn i had few hrs to fish before heading home and it got the better of me so i went back to try and find my fav lure ,when i got to the spot the river was calm and the sun was out and after a few drifts over the tree there it was   about 30 cms under the surface,after a few drifts backwards and forwards i made lunge for the the lure with my gloved hand and got it ,well for a tenth of a second anyway,the next thing i know im face down in the water with the yak on top of me,to say panic set in would be a understatement,after flopping around in the water i found a tree branch to stand on [thank you god]and with a push and shove flipped the yak over right side up and shortly did a big belly flop onto the deck and scrambled on ,i must mention there was a family fishing on the other side of the river watching the whole goings on in complete silence and i felt like yelling out im allright folks i do this thing all the time :twisted: :twisted: i finally gained some composure and then it hit me shit my gear i turned to my left and one rod was still sitting in the holder,turned to the right oh no my new shimano squidgy had gone plus a heap of stuff from the crate in the back, bugger,so i paddled back to camp a bit sad about the lost gear but i guess im allright and will live to paddle another day cheers cruiser


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## Davey G

now if you'd gotten that sx40 lodged in your nose / ear/ tackle :shock: it would have earnt you a TOW but an unplanned dunking just doesn't cut it.

No TOW for you! :twisted:


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## cruiser

ok i will try harder next time cheers cruiser


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## mcbigg

cruiser said:


> okay ill try and keep it short but this is what happened last sunday ,the day before i was trolling down the glenelg river with not a care in the world untill i snagged my sx 40 on a tree which had fallen into the river ,after a few attempts i eventually snapped the line and that was the end of that, goodbye fav lure and paddled off back to camp.the next morn i had few hrs to fish before heading home and it got the better of me so i went back to try and find my fav lure ,when i got to the spot the river was calm and the sun was out and after a few drifts over the tree there it was   about 30 cms under the surface,after a few drifts backwards and forwards i made lunge for the the lure with my gloved hand and got it ,well for a tenth of a second anyway,the next thing i know im face down in the water with the yak on top of me,to say panic set in would be a understatement,after flopping around in the water i found a tree branch to stand on [thank you god]and with a push and shove flipped the yak over right side up and shortly did a big belly flop onto the deck and scrambled on ,i must mention there was a family fishing on the other side of the river watching the whole goings on in complete silence and i felt like yelling out im allright folks i do this thing all the time :twisted: :twisted: i finally gained some composure and then it hit me shit my gear i turned to my left and one rod was still sitting in the holder,turned to the right oh no my new shimano squidgy had gone plus a heap of stuff from the crate in the back, bugger,so i paddled back to camp a bit sad about the lost gear but i guess im allright and will live to paddle another day cheers cruiser


Sounds like we both had a bit of bad luck after we parted ways on Saturday night. On the way home I managed to hit a couple of roos (from the same pack) that jumped out from the forest next to Wanwin road. I was only doing 60 at the time cos I was tired, the roo that I saw, materialised once jump away from the middle of the road. Hit the brakes, wiped off 20km/h before he jumped into my path. He was just about to become airborne on the next jump when I hit him at 40km/h smack on the nose of the car into his thigh. I heard a thud to my left at the same time. I saw a few roos scatter as I drove off so there were several in the group. End result was a big dent in the front of the bonnet, like someone's sat down really really hard on the badge, as well as a few other ripples along the left side of the car from another that managed to hit me in the side, and a couple of really sore roos.
What possesses a roo to see a blinding light, hear a snarling v8 as well as all the other road noises you get with a car at speed, and still think it's a good idea to jump in front of it. Stupid bloody marsupials all pouchy and stuff.

Lol, anyway, hard luck on the dunking and losing the gear, mate.


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## Davey G

mcbigg said:


> What possesses a roo to see a blinding light, hear a snarling v8 as well as all the other road noises you get with a car at speed, and still think it's a good idea to jump in front of it. Stupid bloody marsupials all pouchy and stuff.
> 
> .


Yes I've also claimed a few furry hoppers in my time.... I think they should re-name the game 'chicken' into 'kangaroo'.


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## cruiser

mate im really really sorry to hear obout the damage to your ute,its allways the way when your down, in come the boots,we almost cleaned up some roos on the way home as well as a black snake,it sure is wilderness down that way,if at some stage you want some company when you go offshore i would be only too happy to travel down to your neck of the woods cheers cruiser


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## AndyC

Gees, you're a hard man, DaveyG!!! The fella loses half his tackle and all of his dignity and he still doesn't qualify for a TOW unless he also ends up wearing his lure as a body piercing accessory! Hope I NEVER qualify for one of those things! 

McBigg, what kind of sissy kangaroos they got over that way anyhow. At 40KMH, even one of our little Tassie wallabies will at least take out your grille ... completely ... I know LOL

Seriously, sorry to hear about the hassles for the both of you. Makes you wonder, regarding that SX40 ..... maybe when the underwater gods claim a small toll, we should just accept it and leave them to their prize. I just wonder how many of us have tales to tell about mishaps suffered when trying to recover lost gear.

Cheers All,

AndyC


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## cruiser

well done daftwille you deserve that prize ,at least i get to paddle on a another day and you poor bugger well enough said ,i hope everything mends asp and you are out there with tight lines and a grin on your face cheers cruiser


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## seasquarie

Well done to daft wullie. I would love to add a Tale Of Woe here but feel that I escaped largely unscathed so am proposing a new thread titled "Near Misses - almost a tragedy". No honours or prizes just a bit of a laugh at my expense and maybe others after.


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## zipper

dafs not a winner. didnt have a great day friday. woke up at 5:30, paddled out for a fish, came back 2 and a half hours later with still no fish landed, went up the beach to get the trolley to wheel the kayak home..............wheres the trolley............wtf, someone had racked my trolley while i was away, my home made one aswell damit. oh well called dad and found a way to get it home, unpacked everything and on my way out of the shed i knocked a bike and it fell over nas snapped my graphite plastics rod, wow thats annoying. oh well, gives me an excuse to get a new and better rod


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## Kevlar

I was in Khankoban with a friend who's parents have a house there. We went to do a spot of fishing, he is a fly fisher and I prefer to spin. Whilst he was setting his rod up I put together my pride and joy spinning rod and as you do I was showing off the 'whip' it has. I was enjoying the show off experience and it was like "whip.. whip... woooosh.... splash" as the top end of the rod went flying off into the river. I was shattered, my mate was kacking himself and then reality struck. The river was running with snow melt - icy cold - hardly a klm from the Khankoban dam. We went and checked out if we could see the top of the rod from a cattle crossing bridge and fortunately spotted it within a minute or so.... right in the middle of the river !

We went back and I stripped to my jocks and proceeded into the water, my pride was on the line so I sucked in a deep breath, whilst my stomach sucked in my manlihood and I waded out in chest deep water to the spot the rod was lying on the bottom. I managed to pick the rod up with my toes and then get it to my hands without submerging my head and made it out of the water probably within minutes of dying of hypothermia. My mate asked what the water was like and I managed to trick him into thinking it wasn't actually too bad. Being the gullible type he said he was going to have a quick dip as well then, before we got into some fishing. I got some of my own back as dove into the river and I heard his scream rise from under the surface.

Unfortunately he kind of proved to be the better fisher person on the day and he came back with a couple of trout and left me empty handed.

Pride is so over rated.


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## Abner

This was posted by Dicko on KFFS (KFWA.)
I hope he does not mind me posting it here a lesson for everybody and the will to survive against the odds.

Posted: Thu Dec 11, 2008 3:13 pm Post subject: THAT SINKING FEELING....AND TIGER SHARKS Reply with quote
SO....
I decide...against my gut feeling and instincts to venture out today for a fish...in 40km/hr southerly's. The weatherman has been wrong for weeks now, the only thing consistent has been the raging westerly...and Tiger Shark sightings, (myself having spotted a 10 footer from the wharf at work).
Well decide to go to my favourite spot where I'll be sheltered from the westerly(east coast of the burrup penninsula) but I get out past the bay and yep, they are spot on...Southerly, 40km/hr. I continue on and catch several nice sized cod on a halco scorpion.
Then the sh*t hits the fan, i start to feel heavy...and heavier. I turned to one side and almost fell out, then realised my rudder and the back 1/3 of my eXtreme is under water! I paddle like hell straight to the rocks (no beach around here) and by this time I have lost my rod, bait bucket, tackle box, car keys and phone. I clawed up the rocks dragging a 150kg kayak, a few belongings, I cut my feet and hands to shreds on the oysters.
As I begin to bleed from several places, I undo the bung and start draining the kayak. I then swam down to retreive my rod, keys and phone. I couldn't find anything else. Fresh thoughts of sharks entered my mind, and to top it off, a 2m barracuda swims past. My phone was dead, soaked, nobody to call. I inspected my yak which has a million cuts and scrathes from the oyster rocks. No obvious cracks/holes so I piled my stuff into the yak and climbed aboard.
I had roughly 4km to get home.
I paddled about 2000m before the same thing happened. Before it got nasty I made to some more rocks (without oysters) and started bailing out water with my drink bottle. About 100 scoops and half an hour later, I continued on. This time I got about 1000m and the same thing, its getting worse I thought, nowhere to stop, I paddled 500m further to a sandy beach, where I was waist deep in water when I got there. Drained the yak and powered home the last 500m where I was waist deep in water again by the time I got to the boat ramp. My arms/shoulders were shot and so was my confidence.
When I got home, I looked the yak up and down with a microscope and couldn't find anything. I suspect the rudder bolts must have let the water in.
I have been taught a valuable lesson, radio, bilge pump, dry bags. There is no substitute for safety gear. I am shaken by this experience and it's fair to say I will be FULLY prepared when (if) i ever hit the water in a kayak again.
Lastly, If anybody has had a similar experience, share it and if anybody has an idea on how sooo much water could get into the hull, please let me know.

regards
Craig, now at home, cut feet, aching shoulders and low on confidence

_________________
Craig Dixon
Malibu eXtreme- "The Green Machine"

Abner
Bob


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## keza

that sounds like way to much water to come from bolt holes, i'd stick a hose inside and see where the water runs out.
Nightmare of a story, glad he is safe.


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## justcrusin

I have had similar from a dodgy hatch, very scary and like Craig I was thankful not to be to from shore when it happened. Bouancy foam is the go, closed cell from thermotec a 2.4 x 1.2 sheet will float 288kg. I easily cut up an fitted three quaters of a sheet in the hobie with room for rods and fish. That should float around 150kg enough for me and the yak.

Cheers Dave


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## soggypilchard

I have been leaving the kayak paddle inside the kayak when transporting on the roof racks.
It hadnt come out and only poked out of the kayak just a little bit.
however
flying down the newcastle freeway to sydney on saturday, overtaking some person going 105 so prob going about 120 then i hear this whomp on the roof and boot and look in the rearview mirror to see the paddle twirling around in the aair attached to an old surfboard legrope.
I pulled over and it had been chewed up justa tiny bit by the tyre.
put it in the car with me, tied the legrope / paddle leash to the roofrack and kept going.
I wont be leaving the paddle in the kayak again.


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## grinner

sorry to hear that scotty, the old bubbles in the radiator are a bit of a giveaway, was really looking forward to your fishing report. its a navarra yeah? theyre usually pretty reliable. hopefully you can geta new head and get mobile again soon. car troubles are the biggest pain in the ass. theres probably a few mechanics on this site who can offer advice . did u say u had water in the fuel filter , im not sure how that would be related to overheating
definitely a tale of woe in my books best of luck pete


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## Imaddictedtofishing

Now i know this has nothing to do with yaking or fishing. But i broke my arm playing chess. :shock:


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## BIGKEV

Imaddictedtofishing said:


> Now i know this has nothing to do with yaking or fishing. But i broke my arm playing chess. :shock:


That is one of the funniest statements I've ever heard!!!


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## YakN00b

I may as well add this. I used to have soft roof racks which hav e scratched my roof up pretty bad. I used to slide the kayak up the rear wing.
So I get some spiffy Rola sport roof racks and am able to load the kayak upside down now which means its way more stable and secure and fits in the garage with the yak on top.

Now the point of the story the only way I can get it up there is to lift up onto my head and right shoulder and then slide it on from the passenger side of the car. So I fart around and I perfect the technique.

So I have been going for hour long training paddles in Raby bay after work the last week. Finish up last night and was feeling particularly tired so I grab hold of the yak and give it a good heave to get it up and SNAP!!! there goes something in my right elbow. The next 15 minutes or so were spent moaning and groaning and trying not to spew and or flake out.

Turns out I have a partial tear of the bicep tendon and wont be doing anything with my right arm for some time. Just typing this is painfull.


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## ArWeTherYet

Thats very sucky LB.
I wondered what happened to "I slayed them at DIP" thread. You got to have the occasional disaster when going on a family holiday, thats what makes them so memorable.

I took the family up to Carlo Point, near Rainbow, one year. The wife and 4 kids in a 1979 valiant towing a boat with all our camping gear. Took the short cut around Gympie on the dirt road.......had just rained the night before and it took us 4 hours to go 40km :shock: grrrr. Set up the tent and took my daughter who was just 2 and a bit for a walk, she wanted to go one way I wanted to go the other.....and I ended up dislocating her arm. Had to find an Ambo and she was taken to Gympie. Then we had terenchal rain.....water running through our little tent.....then there were the sand flies.......but hey didnt stop me goin fishing.  ......very memorable


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## grinner

paul the old pulled elbow is a very common injury in little kids, usually caused by mum giving it a yank when they run off in the supermarket. if you push the side of the elbow just below the joint and give it a twist just like screwing in a light bulb it nearly always goes back in. your daughter is probably to old to suffer that injury again though, camping in torrential rain is a "bonding" experience

cheers pete


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## robbiew

This must qualify, I returned 10 days ago from my beach front holiday h. on the N.S.W. south coast to shepparton Vic. I have had the greatest time in my Revo. every day several hours,[only lost one rod and reel] caught enough fish to keep thtroops happy.The last 10 days has produced temps above 38 and today tops it off with a whopping 46.5. Today being Sat. my Air Con. decided it had enough and packed it in.I was feeling sorry for myself until I thought of those heroes out there in these conditions fronting those bush fires.Lets all give our thoughts and maybe a prayer[if you are that way inclined]for them and their safety.


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## Drewboy

There I was looking down the gullet of a flathead that had swallowed my hook 120mm down his throat.
My offsider was asked to hold the fish with an old towel while I peered down with tension on the line with one hand and a long plastic hook retriever in the other.
Just as I released the hook, the tension of the line twanged it vertically upwards, hoisting the sinker with it.
The hook shoots straight up my left nostril and sits there while the sinker travels vertically past my nose, clocks me on the head and drops back down past my nose, putting just the right amount of tension on the line to embed the hook through the skin in the middle of my left nostril.
My first and I hope, my last foray into body piercing.


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## dunebuggy

Fished Sunday, monday, and wednesday and caught nothing to speak of. What hope do I have of winning the abt on Sunday?! Pouts. And what's more, my home made livewell won't work grrrr


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## varp

Drewboy's new piercing for mine.

...short and sweet with great visuals of the set up, trajectory and ensuing pain and humiliation.

absolute cracker!!!


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## GregL

Here's my ToW entry...
After being on such a high at coming 3rd at Mooloola, my day was shattered at about 11:30pm that night. 
I had a massive day on Sunday - fished the comp in the morning, then high-tailed it back to Brisbane, jumped on a flight back to sydney, got in the Cruiser and drove straight up to Port Stephens where I was to jump aboard the mighty Little Audrey.
Anyway, I parked the truck up on the hill, and made my way down to the boat, with my bag and rod-tube over my shoulder. I wasn't game to leave the tube in the truck, figuring that as there was a major gamefishing tournament on, any scoundrel who may have passed my truck and seen a rod tube inside with a padlock on it may easily be tempted to smash a window and nick off with my rods.
It was quite late by the time I got to the boat, and everyone had already gone to bed. Now, this was the first time I've crewed for LA, so I wanted to make a good impression right from the start. I went down to the engine room figuring there would be plenty of room to put my 7'6" tube, but there simply wasn't.
I didn't want to leave it out on the rear deck, there was someone asleep upstairs in the bridge so I didn't want to wake them, and I didn't want to leave it in the saloon where someone may trip over it in the morning.
My head was probably just spinning out after the massive day that I'd just had - I was pretty rooted too - so I couldn't have been thinking straight but I couldn't believe that here I was on a 76foot long boat - the largest game boat in the country - and I couldn't find anywhere to stash my bream rods! :? :shock:

In my utter stupidity, I decided to take the risk, and take the rods back to the truck and hope for the best.
On the way back though, I came up with the ball-sack idea to take the rods out of the tube, put the empty tube up on my roof racks, and then slide the rods up along the passenger side of the truck, where they would be very hard to see for the scallywag passer-by.
By the time I got to the truck, the plan had become one of perfection, and I was paying myself out for not having thought of it to start with.

The rods came out of the tube, and I commenced stage one of the disaster - I opened the back door of the truck and fed all four rods along the passenger side wall of the truck, going between the 'wall' and the edge of the rear seat. All was looking good - the rods were going to be well hidden. I carried on gently feeding the rods along the wall until I felt some resistance - this was the begining of stage two - 'ah, the rods have hit the back of the front seat'.
I went and unlocked the passenger door, and reached around to unlock the rear side door. Why I didn't just pull the rods through from the front passenger side, I'll never know.
"click", and the rear door was now ready for opening.
Stage three - the final stanza of the tragedy
I put my hand on the door handle, and pulled the door open. Before I could say....well, anything I guess :? .... I heard that awful sound....not once, but twice.
snap-snap!! and the sound of two peices of graphite hitting the kerb. It sounded like a bomb going off - like the end of the world - it was catastrophic     
NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! Please not the Miller, please not the miller, please not the miller!!!! Please not the new one! please not the new one!!!!
It was dark, and I checked the new rod that I'd won earlier that day which was still in its bag.
Phew, it was intact.
At this stage, I needed to collect my thoughts, and I tried to work out what had happened. It was hard to tell, but I am pretty sure that the only way things could have gone so wrong, was that the tips must have somehow gone behind the rear window winder handle. If my life depended on that happening, do you reckon it would have? :? 
I then took a deep breath and began the grim identification process on the two deceased.
First up, and I found that the rod I'd won in Sydney round 1 had perished. Although I was devo'd, it was not actually terminal, as it is a four peice rod and I should be able to get a new tip.
Then it was down to either being my $60 Berkley Attack - a two peice - or my $600 custom Millerod - one peice.

If I tell you that words can't really describe how gutted I was, and that sometimes, life just isn't fair, then you can probably guess the outcome.

Here endeth my Tale of Woe.
Smeg.


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## dunebuggy

Oh you poor bastard. You get MY vote.


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## varp

looking good Smeg..looking good..

..I'm a wee bit conflicted now..

:?


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## Davey G

oh you poor bastard but I'm not sure if it qualifies..
was there a kayak anywhere in the vicinity Greg? :?

That'll teach you to turn to the dark side - not just a stinkboat, but Australias BIGGEST stinkboat. And not one but 2 rods - and your custom jobbie too. ARRRRGGGGHHHHH. :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:

Kayak fishing karma's a bitch... :lol:


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## GregL

Davey G said:


> oh you poor bastard but I'm not sure if it qualifies..
> was there a kayak anywhere in the vicinity Greg? :?


In my defence, your Honour, the disastrous event took place AS A DIRECT RESULT of kayak fishing earlier that day. One would surely have to conceed that had it not been from my well documented KAYAK fishing activity earlier in the day, my bream rods would have certainly had no place being on my person at that precise moment in time.
I would also like to point out for the Jury, that my rods were indeed safe and sound for the entire period that they spent incarcerated within the tube - and one would also have to conceed that it was not in fact the 100mm PVC tube that was responsible for the well being of said graphite sticks of glory, but that it was in fact the magical, mystical powers of the AKFF sticker that is located on the tube (see exhibit A and exhibit B) that was keeping the contents safe from all evil forces.


















My final additional submission to the plea, which I inadvertantly ommitted from my original recollection,is that the fishing at Port Stephens has all but shut down. I arrived on Sunday night, and we fished 'Ladies Day' on Monday and failed to even turn a reel. On our return to Port that evening, it was decided that the boat would not fish any of the other mid-week tournaments, along with the majority of other boats in Port, and there was a good chance that next weekend would also be un-fished. Therefore it wasn't worth me hanging around for the rest of the week. The trip to Port Stephens was ultimately a complete waste of time, and I am now back in Burrill Lake. Had I not travelled to Port, my rods would have remained surrounded by the white light of safety that is the AKFF sticker.

The events that took place that evening were far beyond the greatest fears many fellow piscatorians would ever contemplate, and I lay my faith with the Jury that true justice - if one can call it that - will rightly be served.

I rest my case.


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## Drewboy

I am reminded of the fellow who went into the tackle shop and asked "What do you catch with that lure mate?"... To which the salesman responded, "Mostly customers".
And so this is an occupational hazard that I have personally experienced.
There is just a chance that i'm not as worthy as others before me, as my misadventure did not happen in a kayak.
Where does that put me.
Happy to step aside if necessary.
Drewboy ;-)


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## Drewboy

Maybe I'm being too conchy

If this makes it easier...

"So, if you have a T.O.W please enter it in this thread. Winners will be picked at random and will be subject to strict criteria (ie your TOW needs to be nearly life threatening, it needs to make us laugh hysterically and it needs to make us feel sorry for you all at the same time).

So, let the TOWs begin..."

Over to you Daftwullie


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## Astro

Drewboy said:


> Maybe I'm being too conchy
> 
> If this makes it easier...
> 
> "So, if you have a T.O.W please enter it in this thread. Winners will be picked at random and will be subject to strict criteria (ie your TOW needs to be nearly life threatening, it needs to make us laugh hysterically and it needs to make us feel sorry for you all at the same time).
> 
> So, let the TOWs begin..."
> 
> Over to you Daftwullie


and must happen whilst yakking?????


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## Drewboy

DaftWullie said:


> OK now this has become farcical what DO you the consumer want to see here - quarterly,monthly or just spur of the moment ?


Quarterly would keep it interesting and not drawn out.


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## Davey G

Yeah its kind of assumed that the TOW will happen either while yakking or as a direct result of yakking.

This is a yakfishing site after all... 8)

Drewboy - I'll send you a consolation prize (hook removal kit and full face helmet) and you can feel privileged (or is that underprivileged) to be amongst such an elite bunch of idiots (oops I mean TOW recipents) - for a short period of time anyway!.


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## sbd

DaftWullie said:


> As for the frequency of awards what do you think ?.


Seasonal, so we have a Spring, Summer, Autumn & Winter TOW Clown (awarding a pennant/ribbon/bauble), with a yearly best TOW Clown (as voted by AKFF members) to have their name & abbreviated deed inscribed on a perpetual trophy with prizes as donated or otherwise determined.


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## Junglefisher

Definately as it happens kind of thing.
So if someone does something dumb, then two weeks later someone beats that, the crown gets past on. If no one gets dobbed in for something in the next 9 months, they stay the title holder all that time.


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## Davey G

Junglefisher said:


> Definately as it happens kind of thing.
> So if someone does something dumb, then two weeks later someone beats that, the crown gets past on. If no one gets dobbed in for something in the next 9 months, they stay the title holder all that time.


Yeah I kind of like this approach better as it keeps the TOW current and in the spotlight and allows us to really put the boot in when someone does stuff up...... :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:


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## cruiser

i could be in the running again but its not life threateing, it involves the yak and embrassing cheers cruiser


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## zipper

tell us geoff, you know you want to


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## Crezz2704

hey guys,

i have a trailer that attaches to my Bike just so you know. i dont have my p plates yet, the only way of getting round so yer.

sunday morning i rode to capalaba to fish tinny creek (tingalpa creek) the other day....bad idea 
worst fishing trip ever. 10km ride there with extra bout 25kg because of the trailer and yak. started off well. nice ride, good time took me about 35-40mins from where i live in Wellington Point.
got there realised i didnt bring mozzie spray. chewed alive for about 4 hours, thought i was going to get malaria. 
so then i fought the tide each way with no success catching fish, last cast my plastic got caught on a snag, paddled over tried to get it off and what happens, my rod tip snapped. then i had another 10km ride home up the hills i had come down in a long sleeve t-shirt and the lovely sun that decided to come up over the trees.

that was a fun morning.

cheers,

Crezz


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## YakN00b

uh that's 3 combo's but 1 was recovered so I only donated 2.
Dont forget having my hand trapped inside my kayak at 5am by a Atomic Hardz

Not that I want the damn award.


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## GregL

I would be proud to wear the hat, and also an oversized time peice (think that of Public Enemy MC Flavor Flav) around my neck at Round 1 of next years series....


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## YakN00b

Thank you so much for this award I promise to hide it and never mention it again


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## rob316

how about an upside down yak as a trophy avatar for the winner - depicting his skills ? ... much like the reverse of the legend avatar that shows respect !!


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## GregL

A massive thankyou to everyone who DIDN'T vote for me. I love you all, and I would like to thank my sponsors, my family, the Almighty Lord Hobie and my two dogs for still having faith in me and knowing that my very worse is still yet to come...
Nooby, I tip my hat to you sir.

DW - double dare accepted... :twisted:


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## rob316

That was quick - love the "trophy"....well done mods.....he shall be worshipped by all who have " suicidal" tendencies !!! :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:


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## YakN00b

To get into the spirit make the avatar into a sticker and I will put it on the BFS


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## pcsolutionman

WOW what an honor my aim since this award started was to win it :lol: :lol: :lol:

Lee


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## Davey G

pcsolutionman said:


> WOW what an honor my aim since this award started was to win it :lol: :lol: :lol:
> 
> Lee


Yeah....you must have REALLY wanted it bad to roll your car... :shock: :shock:


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## GregL

Fantastic effort Lee - god help the poor soul who takes the crown off you!
Smeg


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## RedPhoenix

Unfortunately, due to the change in ownership of this web site and the lack of response by the owners to my requests to remove my email address from all administrative-level notifications and functionality, I have decided to remove my posts on AKFF. Thank you for the great times, the fantastic learning experiences and the many many fish. If you are desperate for the old content of this particular post, it is available below base64 encoded and bzip2 compressed.

Red.

----

QlpoOTFBWSZTWYliyXsAABffgAAQQKcACAQglIA/796gIACKip4RBkZGmRpoZNBqmynkI0NA0AaAlCjoX4B5PibEzSfd9Bqyqean4wOI5w1UoruoCEorlks/LzFJwANqiUu459baVvda+FEB2mTAoSLLpkC4U2AVOyscM7EIED8obOaubjsjTfZr20NArJDcRPVyrweHECIgaLBjU/F3JFOFCQiWLJew


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## DGax65

eric said:


> Where can we find this story?


T.O.W. starts at the bottom of the first page. http://www.akff.net/forum/viewtopic.php?f=17&t=29158


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## Rose

A well-deserved award indeed, congratulations/commisserations Dan!


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## RedPhoenix

Unfortunately, due to the change in ownership of this web site and the lack of response by the owners to my requests to remove my email address from all administrative-level notifications and functionality, I have decided to remove my posts on AKFF. Thank you for the great times, the fantastic learning experiences and the many many fish. If you are desperate for the old content of this particular post, it is available below base64 encoded and bzip2 compressed.

Red.

----

QlpoOTFBWSZTWV67fR0AABVfgEAQQQW8sqCElIAv79+AIABkRU/KNTxR6ajQ9DTak0ybT1TahSDRp6EDQYgNDIY1llYLTHDeeR+nKXTPN7pwuw6xEBAbIRyR7iCWOusqtBVtuhldM5GKwZb9Q3P82jT4rSgpBseNi71l+VzY3pxUVJKasgBRUkoKKWaIu5IpwoSC9dvo6A==


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